Hi friends! It’s been a while! I am very happy to be back as we wrap up 2022! Naturally,
thoughts turn to the new year and the excitement of what will unfold. Simultaneously, I find
myself thinking of things that didn’t unfold as expected. I read an interview with the actor
Jennifer Aniston in Allure magazine recently where she talked about her inability to have a child
and how hard that was for her. Upon reflection about having the baby, she longed for but
ultimately couldn’t conceive she succinctly said “the ship has sailed.” That got me thinking
about what “ships have sailed” for me. I could count several. While it’s an emotionally hard
exercise to do, it is without a doubt very valuable. Mostly because the next step is to surrender,
to let go. It’s OK if I missed a few things that I thought were for me. Maybe it opened up other
avenues that would not have occurred otherwise.
We all have those things that we thought would happen or that we thought we would
experience, yet they just didn’t come to fruition for one reason or another. Who knows, maybe
those dreams can still come around. Maybe the fulfilling job, the long dreamt for the house, the
great relationships you’ve wanted, and even a late-in-life baby are all still viable just maybe not in
the way you thought or the order you expected. Maybe Jennifer Aniston adopts a baby, maybe
she becomes a foster mother or maybe she’s made peace that this dream of motherhood was
not for this lifetime and that’s OK. My son wrote a poignant song recently and the refrain is “It’s
OK”. I love that message. The missed opportunity is OK, the life you thought you would have
but somehow turned out differently than expected is OK. With that wisdom in hand, we are free
to move on! We are free to live in the now and think about the future. There is no life in the past.
It doesn’t exist anymore. I admit it can be a bitch to let go, especially if you’re a can-do,
stubborn woman like myself; but then I remember the peace that follows after letting go. As a
result, I make it a point to surrender to peace constantly. It’s the mantra that runs through my
head all. day. long. I surrender to peace, I surrender to peace, I surrender to peace. I like to
hold my hands up and say out loud (especially at stoplights) I surrender! Eventually, it becomes
a habit, all this surrendering.
The author Judith Orloff says there are three types of surrender: forced surrender, learning to
surrender and accepting what is. Forced surrender occurs during a crisis that causes
change. In this change which is often very difficult is the opportunity. Learning to surrender is
an exercise in focusing on the positives in your life while leaving the fear and anxiety behind.
Judith recommends storing positive images as a way to combat the fear and anxiety and
malaise. For me the easiest way is to focus on the exact opposite of the fear or loss I am
facing; therefore inducing the positive as the favored outcome. And lastly, accepting what is.
That’s an absolute choice. That will involve some trust, a dash of hope and a modicum of going
with the flow. When I’m looking for that acceptance I focus on letting happiness in and
surrendering to joy. Again, it’s OK. Everything works itself out eventually. There’s always light!
With that, I wish you all the very, very best this holiday season and always as you surrender to
all that is yours in 2023 and beyond.
With love & gratitude,